My First Poem

Okay. So this is my first blog. And I thought it would be a great idea to add the first poem I ever wrote as my first blog.

This is quite scary for me, so keep the criticism down for this one. I have never shown my poetry to anyone before. I have been scared of what they might say. But it’s also very personal to me. See, when I write poems, what you read is not always what you get. It goes much deeper than that. Every sentence, every word, every picture that’s drawn has an alternate meaning. And that meaning is whatever you need it to be at the time that you read it. Whatever you are going through changes the meaning of the story. But that explanation is for another entry. Let’s keep this one simple. Enjoy xx

Background on the poem. I was about 14. The night I wrote this poem was when I went to stay at a friend’s house. We decided to stay up the entire night so at about 4 in the morning we took all of her ornaments from inside the house and glittered the garden with them. We had candles hanging from the trees, vases on the driveway and small decorations all over the grass. It was summer so the sun was rising. Here it is…

The Wilderness

Ah… Sitting in the wilderness. What a dream.

The beautiful song the wind plays through the leaves.

I find myself lost in another world when I am outside. Like all the worries and stress of the world has blown away. The gentleness of Mother Nature’s touch send shivers down my spine as it sends me into a slumber.

I fall into a trance while watching the elegant dance the grass performs whilst laying under the stars. I look to them and it’s like they are looking back, smiling, reassuring me that everything is going to be okay.

Never have I felt so alive. So safe. So sure that happiness exists.

Being upset when in nature’s most natural self is impossible.

The butterflies kiss away the pain, the hurt, the anger.

Being in the wilderness is like being infinitely free. Free, but not alone… You see, when you cry, the rain cries with you. When you are happy, the trees celebrate with you. When you are lonely, the wind sings to you as the grass dances for you. You are never alone. There is so much life around you. And I don’t mean walking, talking, breathing life.

xx

Not bad for a 14 year old, stressed, over-tired kid? … yeah I agree, terrible! 😛 But it’s sentimental. It reminds me that even through the worst part of my life (at the time – again, that’s another story) I was still able to look at the most simple things and feel completely at peace with it all. It’s inspiring, although rather terribly written.

I hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading this far!

Bye for now ❤

Be A Blade Of Grass

“To be or not to be? That is the question.”

That quote is the most powerful sentence ever for me. Life or death? For some this is an extremely hard decision. 

Let’s take a single blade of grass. It is born, it grows, it dies. Now let’s look at its purpose. It provides food for many animals. Shelter for some insects. Nutrients for the soil therefore food for underground life as well. Comfort for walking and sitting and let’s face it, a field of green grass is just stunning. 

You agree, right? Good. Because you are a blade of grass in a field. You are as important as the blade next you. You are as beautiful as every other blade that forms that field. And together or individually, you have a purpose. People will walk on you, people will cut you down. Life may burn you out. But that doesn’t mean that your purpose disappears. You can regrow, and you will regrow stronger than before and your ability to fulfill your purpose and reach your goal is amplified. 

Don’t ever let your life be a question, don’t ever think you don’t belong here or that you are incapable of regrowing and rebuilding yourself because just like that blade of grass, you are rooted to a support structure. Whether family, friends or professional help, you have a support structure and if you let that help in, you will grow to be a stronger, wiser and better version of yourself with a clearer vision of your goal and the means to achieve it with a smile. 

It’s Okay To Cry

All your life you smiled. Inside you were broken. You wore a mask not to hide your emotions from others, but to hide them from yourself. You didn’t want to deal with how you felt because you didn’t know how. You didn’t know how to cry because crying didn’t solve the problems. You didn’t know how to talk to people because their responses were not helpful at the time. You’re tired of hearing “Stop looking so sad all the time” and tired of explaining why that you eventually gave up and smiled instead, blocking what you are feeling. 

My love, cry. Cry, not because it solves anything. Cry, not because it gains attention. 

Cry because it helps. It helps because what you don’t realise is that as you cry, you filter. Your mind selects the issues that are bothering you, releases the emotions that it comes with, be it anger, be it sadness, and those emotions are then released through your tears. And after your tears have run dry, you will find that it will become easier to think about the issues without the intensity of emotions clouding all judgement. Therefore allowing you the strength to think about the issues and deal with them instead of being overrun with emotion and not being able to think at all.

Time, tears and talking. Those are your stepping stones through pain toward happiness. You need to surrender to weakness to gain strength. 

They Cannot Define Me

I am not defined by my medication. I am not defined by my counselling sessions. I am not defined by my diagnosis. I am not defined by society’s norms.

I am not defined by you

I am defined by my actions. I am defined by my words. I am defined by my accomplishments. I am defined by my contributions. I am defined by my goals

I am defined by who I was yesterday, who I am today and who I want to be tomorrow. 

Stay a while Princess.

She tries to outrun her life. To outrun the truth. Constantly running. Searching for an alternate reality. Trying escape from what she knows is real. But she’s tired…

Slow down Princess. Stop running. Temporary fantasies are fun, but they are only temporary. You can’t hide from your reality by escaping into something that isn’t real. Being pulled back into the truth unwillingly is only going to cause you more harm. Stay a while and sew that within your world are people who love you. People who would do anything to make each day a little bit easier for you. People who are wanting to help. You’ve just got to stop running and accept it. Accept your truth, and accept the help. Allow those who are willing to love you unconditionally and love them in return. Learn to enjoy every small bit of happiness you can find and you’ll soon learn that every small smile grows into a bigger happiness.

You have but one life. Do not spend it running away. Stay a while. Just a while. And you’ll see. Let people in and you’ll see. 

It’s okay Princess. It’s okay. 

Will you love the few, or hurt the many?

Most will say that love hurts. I disagree. I think that love is the only good thing this world has to offer. But love, like life, is doomed to end. That is what hurts. 

Our mortal minds compel us to act upon impulse. If your devotion is strong enough, your impulses are acts towards your loved one. 

If your devotion is not strong enough, your impulses may lead to someone else. A strong sense of acknowledgement that you have but one life will not allow you to deny the possibilities of more. More than what you have. More than the life you’re settled in. More to be discovered. Your mind craves love, but not from one single person but from everyone that provides something different until you are satisfied with them, and so continues the cycle. 

But what of that adventure? Sounds harmless. Sounds fair. Who is to deny you your thirst to taste the world? However, once you have built your ramp of broken hearts, upon what triumph do you stand? You have crushed the hearts of many, left your mark against those who are now broken, and there you stand. Content with your adventure, but alone. Beside you stands no one. How do you feel? Have you reached your goal, or have you merely wasted years that could have been spent loving one single person who would have loved you in return and in the end, have that person by your side? 

Do not allow yourself to succumb to your mortality. At the end of your lifetime, what is it that you wish to leave behind? Broken hearts and bad memories? Or instead, a family that will continue your legacy. Be it a legacy of success, a legacy of good will or merely a legacy of love. Regardless, it’s a legacy that will not be forgotten with one generation. 

Allow yourself to love deeply, and to be loved deeply in return. And I am sorry to inform you of this, but that will not happen on a platform above broken hearts, but rather in the hands of one that you have held close for years, one that you have invested years of effort and care into.