My First Poem

Okay. So this is my first blog. And I thought it would be a great idea to add the first poem I ever wrote as my first blog.

This is quite scary for me, so keep the criticism down for this one. I have never shown my poetry to anyone before. I have been scared of what they might say. But it’s also very personal to me. See, when I write poems, what you read is not always what you get. It goes much deeper than that. Every sentence, every word, every picture that’s drawn has an alternate meaning. And that meaning is whatever you need it to be at the time that you read it. Whatever you are going through changes the meaning of the story. But that explanation is for another entry. Let’s keep this one simple. Enjoy xx

Background on the poem. I was about 14. The court case with my dad had just ended. Some unwanted sexual encounters happened when my foster mom died of leukemia. And I let them happen. I also let him walk away free from the trial. I hated him, but he had a 6-year-old son that needed him, so I did what I thought I had to. The night I wrote this poem was when I went to stay at a friend’s house. We decided to stay up the entire night so at about 4 in the morning we took all of her ornaments from inside the house and glittered the garden with them. We had candles hanging from the trees, vases on the driveway and small decorations all over the grass. It was summer so the sun was rising. Here it is…

The Wilderness

Ah… Sitting in the wilderness. What a dream.

The beautiful song the wind plays through the leaves.

I find myself lost in another world when I am outside. Like all the worries and stress of the world has blown away. The gentleness of Mother Nature’s touch send shivers down my spine as it sends me into a slumber.

I fall into a trance while watching the elegant dance the grass performs whilst laying under the stars. I look to them and it’s like they are looking back, smiling, reassuring me that everything is going to be okay.

Never have I felt so alive. So safe. So sure that happiness exists.

Being upset when in nature’s most natural self is impossible.

The butterflies kiss away the pain, the hurt, the anger.

Being in the wilderness is like being infinitely free. Free, but not alone… You see, when you cry, the rain cries with you. When you are happy, the trees celebrate with you. When you are lonely, the wind sings to you as the grass dances for you. You are never alone. There is so much life around you. And I don’t mean walking, talking, breathing life.

xx

Not bad for a 14 year, stressed, over-tired kid? … yeah I agree, terrible! 😛 But it’s sentimental. It reminds me that even through the worst part of my life (at the time – again, that’s another story) I was still able to look at the most simple things and feel completely at peace with it all. It’s inspiring, although rather terribly written.

I hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading this far!

Bye for now ❤

Stay a while Princess.

She tries to outrun her life. To outrun the truth. Constantly running. Searching for an alternate reality. Trying escape from what she knows is real. But she’s tired…

Slow down Princess. Stop running. Temporary fantasies are fun, but they are only temporary. You can’t hide from your reality by escaping into something that isn’t real. Being pulled back into the truth unwillingly is only going to cause you more harm. Stay a while and sew that within your world are people who love you. People who would do anything to make each day a little bit easier for you. People who are wanting to help. You’ve just got to stop running and accept it. Accept your truth, and accept the help. Allow those who are willing to love you unconditionally and love them in return. Learn to enjoy every small bit of happiness you can find and you’ll soon learn that every small smile grows into a bigger happiness.

You have but one life. Do not spend it running away. Stay a while. Just a while. And you’ll see. Let people in and you’ll see. 

It’s okay Princess. It’s okay. 

Will you love the few, or hurt the many?

Most will say that love hurts. I disagree. I think that love is the only good thing this world has to offer. But love, like life, is doomed to end. That is what hurts. 

Our mortal minds compel us to act upon impulse. If your devotion is strong enough, your impulses are acts towards your loved one. 

If your devotion is not strong enough, your impulses may lead to someone else. A strong sense of acknowledgement that you have but one life will not allow you to deny the possibilities of more. More than what you have. More than the life you’re settled in. More to be discovered. Your mind craves love, but not from one single person but from everyone that provides something different until you are satisfied with them, and so continues the cycle. 

But what of that adventure? Sounds harmless. Sounds fair. Who is to deny you your thirst to taste the world? However, once you have built your ramp of broken hearts, upon what triumph do you stand? You have crushed the hearts of many, left your mark against those who are now broken, and there you stand. Content with your adventure, but alone. Beside you stands no one. How do you feel? Have you reached your goal, or have you merely wasted years that could have been spent loving one single person who would have loved you in return and in the end, have that person by your side? 

Do not allow yourself to succumb to your mortality. At the end of your lifetime, what is it that you wish to leave behind? Broken hearts and bad memories? Or instead, a family that will continue your legacy. Be it a legacy of success, a legacy of good will or merely a legacy of love. Regardless, it’s a legacy that will not be forgotten with one generation. 

Allow yourself to love deeply, and to be loved deeply in return. And I am sorry to inform you of this, but that will not happen on a platform above broken hearts, but rather in the hands of one that you have held close for years, one that you have invested years of effort and care into.